Wake... Up

Ibuburol ko na muna itong puso ko
Ititigil ko muna ang pagtibok nito
Sumusobra na ang tadhana sa pagsampal
Pagod na ang diwang umangal

Bumalik tayo sa unang bagyo
Nung sinabi niyang "tapos na tayo"
Hindi ko gustong humayo
Pero tangina masaya na kayo

Sino bang nagsabing ang wakas ay sasapit
at labis ipararamdam sa akin ang sakit?
Wala man lang pagbabanta o pagbabadya
Akala ko, akala ko lang pala.

Nawala ka na at nakawala na ako
Kaya siguro nakahanap agad ng bagong sino
Itong tao na akala ko'y mundo
Isa lang palang tula na ang tema ay dulo

Sa di mabilang na pagtatapos at wakas
Bakit tila mas mahapdi ang iyong bakas
Sa relasyong hangang susunod na bukas
Dalawang araw lang ngunit di na ko nakatakas

Pero dahil sadyang bagot at pala hanap
Kaya matapos non sa iba'y mayroong ganap
Di sadya, di sobrang gusto, nakatikim ng sarap
Na maraming gulo at kaunti ang tumanggap

Hindi ako nasabihan
Walang tunay na pagmamahalan
Hinding hindi tayo hahantong sa "walang hanggan"
Alam kong wala kahit ilang ulit mo pa kong balikan.

At ngayon heto nanaman ang tadhana
Nanaginip, natuwa sa mga tala
Ilang beses pang magpapa-gago
Gaanong pasensya ang dapat kong itago?

Hindi ko na kayang tapusin o ayusin
Bakit ang tadhana'y di pa ako kunin?
Ilang ulit mo pa kong lolokohin?
Bakit di mo pa aminin?

Pero pangako ibuburol na muna ang puso
Titigil na ko ng paghanap sa tamang tao
Wala ng santo sa mundong tila purgatoryo
Kaya hindi na muna magpapakanino

Titigil na ko at tatambay dito
Hahayaang bukas sa sarili
ang hapdi ng bawat mga naudlot na "kami"
Ibuburol muna ang puso at saka paghahandaan ang paglibing.

Dito muna ako sa sulok
Kung saan ang hangin ay usok
at gawa sa likido ang bawat tuktok
Dito na muna kahit nakasusulasok.

Quitting Wits that Do not Fit

You want me to quit smoking because it is bad for my health, well here's the thing; you are worst.

This is me realizing that getting into relationships isn't the best route, all this time I was thinking that relationships will save me from myself. I thought that I needed another soul to shadow my brokenness, but I figured that relationships will just break me even more. I got to stop. I need to quit my addiction with owning someone, I need to stop waking up for someone else but myself.

Perhaps I had what we had as a wake up scream. Maybe you weren't what I needed after all. So I will let go, and for the first time I won't wait for your call nor put a hold on my plans just so I can catch up with your slacking in life. 

I don't wish you karma of any sort, I won't curse your name in my thoughts... I will just ... be normal, and everyone knows that's the hardest thing. From this point on you will just be another ordinary person, you will no longer be the sun nor the moon in my life- you will no longer be a  part of me.

How Many Times Can a Fucktard Fuck You Up?

"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice; haha why did I fucking let you?" 

       You see there are so many things that couldn't have gone wrong if you listened to your instinct; you were ready for the worst, weren't you? Why did you spend more time petting on that one tidbit of hope instead of just waiting for the worst to slap you right where you mostly deserve? Because you are too confident, you are too dependent and more so you are NAIVE! How much heartbreak do you think you can handle hero? It's not like the world will run out of bullshits if you take it all in, bullshits don't cease, they rebuild and reproduce, the more you warn them the more they become eager to set their bullshitness on you, because you are a god-damn idiot who is looking for love in a shithole. 

      Go ahead count the number of times that you have been fooled; count all of the instances where you have made yourself believe in someone else's lie because they sound so sincere. There is no numerical limit to how many times a fucktard can fuck up because that is what he does, that is how he got his brand. Stop clinging on to the idea that one day that specific fucktard will get tired of fucking up and messing around because he is an official fucktard and he'll never ever turn into a sweet custard. 

    So what is the point of writing this? There is none, no point will be taken from this garbaj (garbage) whether you are a fucktard or a retard, a custard, or a muffin; life will fuck you up, love will do worse. Stand up, and sit again you were hurt you deserve a break. Get on a high chair and vent out, tomorrow [later] you will still have to deal with all of the bullshits that surround you, don't let yourself turn into one, stay horrible and live as it is. Don't let it change you. Keep messing up in your own way. ♫